I could feel warm breath of against my ear. “I can teach you something fun.” I drew back slightly, looking a question. “You can have fun playing under the sheets.” Was this person suddenly bonkers? There had been no sign of insanity when we sat down. We were sitting in the back of a small country church, on a hard wooden bench. Up front, a preacher droned on about sin and sinners. My seatmate was a young woman with whom I had grown up. I had come to church with her as just something to do. Now, she was offering to teach me something about “playing under the sheets.” What was up with her?
Nola* reached for the blue hymnal in the rack in front of us. Flipping it open at random, she pointed to a song title.
Joy to the World. “Now,” she whispered, “add ‘under the sheets’.” She flipped to another page. “Face to Face—under the sheets.” Not a bad way to lie. [Side note here. My spouse says, ‘Lots of men lie in bed.’ I hope that wasn’t a warning.]
Now, here are some that I have tried especially for this post. I have avoided anything that could be construed as disrespectful. If you are of a certain bent, you could find many expressive of near or full-out blasphemy, but I won’t own that.
Have Thine Own Way—under the sheets.
He is Able—under the sheets
How Great Thou Are—under the sheets
Art Thou Weary—under the sheets
Hmmmm. I’m beginning to see a pattern here.
Night with Ebon Pinion—under the sheets. I used to wonder Ebon Pinion and what was he doing in a hymnal.
That is kind of like my understanding, when I was five, of the kid song, Do Lord. The words go:
Do Lord, O Do Lord
Oh do you remember me?
Look away beyond the blue.
To my young ears, the last line sounded like Waybe Yondablue. My interpretation was that some guy was asking God whether he remembered him. And just as a reminder, the fellow reminds the Lord that his name is Waybe Yondablue. I thought that was a strange name, but who was I to argue with someone who was on personal speaking terms with God.
Okay, enough with the hymns. Let’s look at other ways we could play “under the sheets.”
Another friend, Babs*, told me to try it with slips from fortune cookies.
I saved a few in anticipation of writing this post. Just read the “fortune” and fill in “under the sheets.”
Man has a limitless capacity to achieve goodness….
Determination will get you through this ….
Better aim at the moon than shoot into the well….
Forget those things that aren’t worth remembering….
One more area of interest: Common old-time sayings.
Cut to the chase …
I smell a rat …
It’s no bed of roses …
So there you have a few things that might make you laugh or shake your head, wondering what got into me. Yeah, you know what comes next. 😉
*Names are disguised