Playing Under the Sheets

I could feel warm breath of against my ear. “I can teach you something fun.” I drew back slightly, looking a question. “You can have fun playing under the sheets.” Was this person suddenly bonkers? There had been no sign of insanity when we sat down. We were sitting in the back of a small country church, on a hard wooden bench. Up front, a preacher droned on about sin and sinners. My seatmate was a young woman with whom I had grown up. I had come to church with her as just something to do. Now, she was offering to teach me something about “playing under the sheets.” What was up with her?

Nola* reached for the blue hymnal in the rack in front of us. Flipping it open at random, she pointed to a song title.
Joy to the World. “Now,” she whispered, “add ‘under the sheets’.” She flipped to another page. “Face to Face—under the sheets.” Not a bad way to lie. [Side note here. My spouse says, ‘Lots of men lie in bed.’ I hope that wasn’t a warning.]

Now, here are some that I have tried especially for this post. I have avoided anything that could be construed as disrespectful. If you are of a certain bent, you could find many expressive of near or full-out blasphemy, but I won’t own that.

Have Thine Own Way—under the sheets.

He is Able—under the sheets

How Great Thou Are—under the sheets

Art Thou Weary—under the sheets

Hmmmm. I’m beginning to see a pattern here.

Night with Ebon Pinion—under the sheets. I used to wonder Ebon Pinion and what was he doing in a hymnal.

That is kind of like my understanding, when I was five, of the kid song, Do Lord. The words go:

Do Lord, O Do Lord
Oh do you remember me?
Look away beyond the blue.

To my young ears, the last line sounded like Waybe Yondablue. My interpretation was that some guy was asking God whether he remembered him. And just as a reminder, the fellow reminds the Lord that his name is Waybe Yondablue. I thought that was a strange name, but who was I to argue with someone who was on personal speaking terms with God.

Okay, enough with the hymns. Let’s look at other ways we could play “under the sheets.”

Another friend, Babs*, told me to try it with slips from fortune cookies.

I saved a few in anticipation of writing this post. Just read the “fortune” and fill in “under the sheets.”

Man has a limitless capacity to achieve goodness….
Determination will get you through this ….
Better aim at the moon than shoot into the well….
Forget those things that aren’t worth remembering….
One more area of interest: Common old-time sayings.
Cut to the chase …
I smell a rat …
It’s no bed of roses …

So there you have a few things that might make you laugh or shake your head, wondering what got into me. Yeah, you know what comes next. 😉

*Names are disguised

This article was written by Margie Campbell

I have been "writing" since I could first hold a pencil. I would fill lines with squiggles thinking that could convey my ideas to the world. As I grew, so did my interest in writing. It really helped when I learned to make letters and to combine them into "real" words. I have a degree in creative writing and a Master's in English (tech writing specialty). I am retired from teaching all types of writing as an adjunct at community colleges in VA, MD, Ohio, and WV.

4 thoughts on “Playing Under the Sheets”

  1. Hello,
    Must admit I skimmed the above.
    New subject: my church book club is reading Hillbilly Elegy. I remember, a friend of yours, his name may be Bob, was upset with the book. I forget your reaction.
    Can you do something on this topic? (topic is hillbillies mostly in Kentucky and Middletown, OHIO where many hillbillies moved to). I cannot put it down even if at times it hurts. I believe also another friend of Bob’s said so much of it was not true…yet it the author’s experiences.


    1. Sally,
      Thanks for the suggestion. I’ll see what I can do. I’ll write more about the book in private email as I am not ready to make my thoughts public until I can write your suggested post.

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